Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Thwarted Aspirations of a Would-Be Tupperware Lady




So I had a brainstorm this morning, as I blindly groped my way through the a.m. tasks. Despite how I sometimes try to tart up the truth, I'm pretty much a full-time housewife at this point. Unfortunately, my household doesn't always run as a household should run that's run by a full-time housewife. If you get what I'm saying. Take this morning, for instance. In my mind, I like to think I woke up a good half-hour before Hedgehog, laid out her clothes, made a pot of coffee and poured the juice and scrambled the eggs. Then greeted her, turning from the stove with a bright and cheery smile. The reality is always different. Wake up late? Check. Groggy? Check. Hungover even though I didn't drink? Yup. Stumbling around because I can't find my glasses and I'm blind as a bat without 'em? Mmhmm. Brownies and water for Hedgehog's breakfast? Well yes. Only shoes available are two left ones, one sneaker and one sandal? You betcha.

But as I stood (well, sagged) at the kitchen counter, waiting for the coffee to brew and resurrect me from the twilight sleep of undeath, I grabbed a cookbook at random off my shelf to peruse for dinner ideas. What did I grab? It just so happened to be my Tupperware Picnic Foods of the World cookbook...Tupperware, Tupperware...hmmm...a faint song could be heard in the dimmest recesses of my mind, I think it was "Too Much Too Young." No just kidding. But a light went on in there, and suddenly, just like that, I decided to become a Tupperware Lady. They still exist, you know. I checked it out. Yes, I was going to host a Tupperware party right in my own home, and from there, well, the sky would be the limit...somehow, Tupperware would make me a better housewife, I just knew it.  In the cranky morning over the sink full of dishes, brightly-colored plastic storage solutions seemed like the key to life, the universe, and everything...

As swiftly as my dream was born, it was murdered.  Murdered by Sgt. Pepper not half an hour ago, when he uttered the fateful word: "No."

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

There's a word for this: Soul Crushing. I've done it myself. When I told Wendy he would NOT be a concert thereminist.

XO

Allison

P.S. Eagerly awaiting knitted wonder!

(Not-So) Cynical Gal said...

What about Avon? Mary Kay? Just kidding!

Leah said...

If I sold Mary Kay, maybe I could get the pink cadillac!!!

Allison--yes, we've all crushed a soul or two in our time...I guess sometimes it's just necessary. I do find it funny, though, that A. hasn't stomped on my dream of being Snape's girlfriend. Somehow, he's let that one go...

xo

Skeeter said...

Well, it was good while it lasted. Mrs. Skeeter wanted to try to be a Mary Kay lady for awhile. She didn't have much fun with it, but when she discovered the Toastmasters, she was hooked. So come the weekends, she practices her speeches on me. this May 15th is our 25th anniversary. The speeches seem to work for her, so I stretch out on the couch, close my eyes and pretend its low rent therapy. Pretty much works for me too. you know.

Best wishes

kylie said...

loved this post....
i have an urgent TV date with my girls (Ugly Betty) so i'll be back
cheers
k

PĂ©itseoga said...

you could still host just the one party? my sister and sister in law in germany seem to go to and host those kind of parties all the time, for tupperware and jewellery mostly i think. they don't buy much though. not sure how popular they actually are with the tupperware ladies...
and who's mary kay??

Mr. Shife said...

Sgt. Pepper is a smart man. You need to squash that Tupperware bug immediately. Tupperware is a gateway product. Next it is Avon, Mary Kay, vacuum cleaners, Ron Ronco chicken food dehydrators, etc.

INNER VOICES said...

you could be a tupperware lady in secret... hold tupperware sales events in the shadows of the night... sell "blackmarket tupperware" stuff "you just cant get any more..." hmmm...

Suzanne said...

Well...I believe when you get the guys commenting you're seriously screwed. No Tupperware Lady for you! I'd keep working on that PhD. I suspect the pay might be a wee bit better. Ahhhhhhh, yes, but when you take into consideration the rate of inflation, student loans and the cost of text books, well, you might break even. Toss a coin. Well, even if Tupperware wins out, you can always rely on your big...











brain. Most guys love a big brain. The rest go for big boobs and live to regret it.

XO ;)

P.S. You're the best ~ thanks for all your support. XO