Wednesday, March 25, 2009

More Rejected Post Topics

Late in the evening of a fruitful day. I wish I could be so productive all the time. I went to the gym and did the grocery shopping, paid the bills, sort of, cleaned the house and did the laundry, worked at my awful dissertation, wrote half a chapter of my book, made the dinner, and knit an entire arm of Hedgie's sky blue sweater...

I would think I was all coked up, except that I wasn't.

But now I'm strangely wired from my own industry, and not ready yet to shut it down. If I could only wring one more thing from this busy day. So here I am, back at my computer. I would love to write a post, but can only think of unsuitably bizarre, dull, morbid, random topics.

Here's a sample--more rejected topics from my oddly amped-up brainpan:

1. Bizarre: My hamster's icy refusal of a proffered bit of hazelnut biscotti.

2. Random: Hedgie has a particular individual quirk of speech that causes people to ask, at least several times a week, whether she is British. I have taken to answering this stupid question with the following: "why yes, I found her on the streets of London, and she was so adorable that I just had to import her back to Brooklyn!" Hedgie just rolls her eyes, long-suffering.

3. Dull: My knitting. I do a lot of it, I buy a great deal of yarn, and I have a baker's dozen (read: more than 20) projects going, all stuffed into various tote bags around the house.

4. Random/Dull: Flowers. As part of my effort at sunny good cheer, my house has flowers in every room now--carnations in the bathrooms, lilies on the dining table, branches of peach blossom by the fireplace, daffodils in Hedgie's room, and something tenacious and pink, whose name is hard to recall, residing in the front hall...that's too many flowers.

5. Dull: My quest for a name for the hero of my novel. The heroine has a name, quite a good one, but the hero is so far nameless. Sarge and Hedgie were on the case this evening, Hedgie shouting names of Roman emperors and Greek gods from the tub, and Sarge armed with a pile of history books. Still no luck. His stand-in appellation is ridiculous. I'm finding it hard to take him seriously.

6. Bizarre: The incredible scavenging possibilities on the streets of my rich neighborhood. People throw away the most extraordinary things. Just this morning, on my way from market, I picked up a little book of portraits of Native Americans, a Smithsonian reprint. Recently, someone around the corner put out a little pile of lovely purses. And last year, my next-door neighbors threw out, and I retrieved in great excitement, a brand-new, still-in-the-box Fulla doll. Who throws out a perfectly good Fulla doll?

7. Dull, very very dull: The weather. It's spring, but it's chilly.

8. Dull, and bizarre, to everyone but me: more Severus. Two back to back posts about my special friend are probably one, maybe two, too many.

9. Morbid/Random/Dull/Bizarre: Pippin's ashes are ready and waiting at the vet's office for me to pick up. Yes, I paid a small fortune for his cremated remains, God only knows why, I don't think I was entirely in my right mind the night he died. I haven't been able to bring myself to walk the ten blocks to pick them up, for what are probably obvious reasons. If you haven't experienced the joy of what "they" refer to as "cremains," well then, you wouldn't know what "they"don't warn you about: there are bone fragments, some of them sizable, in that there heap o' ashes. I know this because I also have a box of dad hanging around the house...

I know for sure that you're thanking me for this last little item...

But I think I've thoroughly worn out my day, as well as my welcome, and I'll close up now.

Just be glad I didn't post about any of these...

22 comments:

The Idle Devil said...

I'm really glad u posted all of these wonderful things. Hero names that turn me on: Henry, Scott, Amos, Antoine, Jean Pierre, Raphael, Ralph, Dorian, Peter...could go on! I wish I could have the people in my neighbourhood give away such interesting things.

kylie said...

this explains why your blog is always interesting. i blog the stuff you reject!

you could always do something new at housewife, for our entertainment!

xo

Jimmy Bastard said...

The richest discarded pickings from your neighbourhood, are the delightful throw-a-way comments you so delightfully litter my mind with.

Utterly charming as always.

Suzanne said...

Hummmmmmmmmmm.

Hi baby. I just arrived from visting Hillary on Kylie's blog, so I can't say I'm whole. I miss her every day. I miss Newman every day. It's funny you know how you love an animals so much. I couldn't have Newman cremated because I needed to bring him back home to show everyone he was dead. He was the alpha male and to just leave everyone without something to understand, I just couldn't do it to all of them. So he's buried where the old tree died and where the new one exists. I think I made a horrible mistake because to look at him everyday is heartbreaking. Writing this is heartbreaking. It's almost 3 months and I can honestly say, it doesn't get easier. I miss him with all my heart.

Don't worry about Heggie. My niece has been British since the day she was born. We often think the's channeling "Gramma!" Seriously. She's now in her mid 20's and still at it. Why? Who knows? Every child is born unique. Embrace and enjoy your treasure.

Knitting and Random/Dull. Kylie, you are a knitter, but hardly random/dull. Please. I've realized something today. We met over at CSI's and I was always so intimidated by you because I didn't think I was smart enough. You know what? We met for a reason. I am smart enough and you know it damit!!!! I love who we are and what we've become. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. NEVER. I love you so very much and know you are a friend for life. Why we have been blessed with blogging, I have no idea, but the people we've met and the joy we've experienced, is bar none, the best. I love you baby.

XO

Suzanne said...

Honestly, I think Jimmy is kinda sexy!!! Just because he loves you so. :)

Candie Bracci said...

You had a real busy day!

Yeah,the last bit is ..well..I do understand why you can bring yourself to do it..

Lets' talk about something else.
I don't know too about my male character's name cause I changed my mind about where he's coming from and I'm changing lots of things too so I have to find a name for this gorgeous guy from my imagination,oh..yeah

Hope you'll be ok

:)

Leah said...

Idle Devil--thank you! This gives me the idea to have another contest and ask people to come up with names for my hero. I'll have to think up a prize...

Kylie--your blog is never boring though. I'm trying to dream up anew and naughty post for housewife--first I think I shall review the Penis Book I won over at MJ's last year...

Leah said...

JB--I have to tell you something funny. Sarge is actually a huge fan of your writing, you're the only blog he reads, well, I read to him, although I think it would be better in his voice...but maybe that would be too weird, him channeling you...still, he doesn't actually like to go to blogs, but loves to hear your pieces read aloud of an evening...

He especially loved "Waxie's Dargle" and still talks about it, and the extended tales of your teeth, and the amazing piece about your unfortunate run-in with a bullet...

anyway...Hedgie overheard us last night make mention of this "Jimmy Bastard" and she called out from the other room, "Jimmy Bastard?! Is that his real name?!" and Sarge called back, "No, sweetie, that's his nom de plume!" "What's a nom de plume daddy?" and so forth. You see, you're well-known around these parts, you've made quite an impact on the odd American family here at The Weather in the Streets...

Leah said...

Suzy--I would have buried Pippin whole, upstate, but alas he died here in Brooklyn, and there's no real place to put him. So now I can bring his ashes to the lake house, and bury him where he was so happy, where he loved to run and swim. I'll probably put dad there too, with a marker. It's just so incredibly sad, isn't it? It's awful. And constantly amazes me how many times one's heart can be broken. I've not yet been able to come to a place of peace with it...

Thanks for your comment about my little Brit. I agree!

xoxo

Karen ^..^ said...

I never picked up the remains of my darling cat, Kittenface. I just never could bring myself to do it. Naturally I feel guilty about it, but I just wasn't ready, and now I'm sure they've discarded them.

What nationality is the hero of your book?

I like Morgan. Capt. Morgan, the horse breed Morgan, it's a great name.

Leah said...

Karen--you shouldn't feel guilty about that at all. If you couldn't, you couldn't, there's no harm done!

Morgan! That's so funny--it's what Sarge suggested last night with great enthusiasm. It's a good idea. I'll put it in the hopper.

Leah said...

Candie--characters' names are so hard...I'm intrigued by your gorgeous guy! My character's not so gorgeous, but more on the weird tip..

just bob said...

What about Bob?

MJ said...

first I think I shall review the Penis Book I won over at MJ's last year...

*waits*

Brian Miller said...

fun post...i find your discards very interesting...especially about the story you make up about Hedgie...lol. This could be expounded with creative details every time you tell it, would make an amazing character.

may your hero find his name soon...

Sarah said...

You turn rejected topics into a perfect post. Tinged with slight humor, you give release to all those inane things that fly around our heads every day.

My what a productive day you had!

Jimmy Bastard said...

Leah: I shall change my name to something less offensive in order for the bairns not to get into trouble at hame or at school.

From here on in I shall be known as Jimmy Fluff-Bunny.

An all together more 'family' name for those unfortunate awkward moments.

Such kind words from yoursel.. many thanks, my regards to the Sarge.
I've got to get out of the room with this big auld swelled heid the noo.

PI said...

I really enjoyed your visit- thank you.
I find the obits column can be useful for names.
I didn't closely examine my mother's ashes - just scattered then where she had asked - in a beautiful spot in the Lake district. I'm rather glad I didn't now. Examine them I mean.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

Hey girl,
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Leah said...

Bob--I'll put it in the hat!

MJ--it's coming, it's coming!!!

Brian--thanks! You're right, I should make the story of Hedgie's "adoption" more and more detailed...I have some thoughts on the subject...

Sarah--isn't it amazing what goes on at any given moment in our heads? When I start to "listen" to my random thoughts, it's downright startling...

Jimmy Fluff-bunny--nah, it diminishes all the cache you've got at our house. Hedgie would be nothing but disdainful of the new tag--although it's nice and surreal!

I shall pass your greetings on to Sgt Pepper.

PI--hello! so nice to see you here. Yes, you are very glad you didn't examine those too closely...I'm not sure what possessed me to do so, except maybe a slightly unhinged sense of duty, and a misguided morbid curiousity...

Auntie! you're so right. Do you have any grand garbage in your neck of the woods? Some areas of NYC seem to be more fertile than others for this sort of thing.

Megan said...

I liked this post just fine. My new nephew's name is (going to be) Morgan!

Mrsupole said...

I loved all the random interesting thoughts.

My dog and cat are kept in our nightstand, I cannot part with them and we never open the drawer either. So I understand.

They had a special on the news recently about a guy who finds treasures in what others throw away and he makes a lot of money for charity. He wrote a book but for the life of me I cannot remember the name. Sigh.