Sunday, March 22, 2009

How much is too much?

I repeat myself ad nauseaum: I'm a daydreamer. I guess I repeat it so often because I've come to believe it's my defining characteristic. It always was, but now as an adult I'm self-aware so I can see it clearly.

I ask myself, how much daydreaming is too much daydreaming? When has a girl's fantasy life become just a wee little bit too vivid?

I'm not sure it really matters, in a way, because I can't seem to stop myself. But I'm wondering just academically whether I spend too much time engaged in it. I guess I already know the answer to the question. But in a sort of masochistic truth exercise, a healing confessional, let me admit to the following misdeeds committed during episodes of Living while Daydreaming (which should probably be, in the High Home Court, a prosecutable offense akin to Driving while Intoxicated)

1. (I've mentioned this before, but as it's grievous, I'll repeat it) While engaged in a romantic moment with Sarge, he asks "Am I interrupting something?"

2. I hear Hedgie's voice, coming in as if from a very great distance, "Mama....mama....mama....mama....MAMA....MAMA!!!!!....why do you have that funny smile on your face?"

3. I drop Hedgie off at school, and on the way home pay Snape a visit in his dungeons...I arrive home at my real life door to my house, cart full of groceries, with no memory of how I got there. No memory of the market, the walk, not even a memory of fishing around in my purse for the keys. (See, it's almost like Dissociative Identity Disorder, but much more fun).

4. Just as Sarge and I have "our song" ("Misty Morning, Albert Bridge" by the Pogues) so too do Severus and I have a song (okay, I'll admit it, because it's just you and me here--it's "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. But even more tellingly revealing of my delusion, I just know that he would find that completely distasteful, because he thinks our song is "Some Kinda Love" by the Velvet Underground. Because he would never be so maudlin. And because he's S&M like that. Plus, of course, dark-ish wizards love the Velvets, don'tcha know).

5. I've worked out a kink in the space-time-fiction-reality continuum that allows for these fantasies.

6. Just as I have to budget time for my workout at the Y, so too must I budget time for daydreaming. And which do you think gets short shrift? Although to be frank, I can multi-task at my workout.

7. I'm crocheting myself a pair of black lace above-the-elbow fingerless gloves...and let's just say that I don't plan on wearing them to any occasion in this world...

8. I've burnt the dinner more than twice and I'm really a good cook...yes, that was me standing at the stove gazing off into the distance long past the ringing of the kitchen timer...

9. And then there's THIS.

I won't even continue. It's just much too obvious that the jury's back on this one.


And now I must leave you to return my full attention to the Potions Master--I've been neglecting him of late, and he's getting itchy from his long lonely hours in the dungeons--I leave you to ponder the question that's really on my mind, though: can a Jewish girl from Brooklyn and a testy dead fictional British wizard with a penchant for the Dark Arts ever really have a chance at happiness?

And if you read through this, knowing that I'm completely sober as I wrote it, and you still respect me in the morning, well, God bless.

21 comments:

kylie said...

you and your dead wizard have happiness, dont you?

i'm a day dreamer too but i dream frustratingly impossible real life scenarios so dead wizards sound like an improvement on that.

Jimmy Bastard said...

I've analysed all the symptoms very carefully, taking into consideration your vocation and your aspirations in life.

Good news and bad news...

Relax.. you're merely a 'normal' (snigger) female, however.. I believe you may actually be Goldie Hawn.

The Idle Devil said...

This reminds me of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) when he's day dreaming and has a small smile on his face. :) I love day dreaming too...and I love the idea of those black lace gloves you're planning on wearing :)

Leah said...

Kylie--you're right--we do have happiness! I never thought of it that way!

JB--But Severus could never love Goldie--she's waaay too bubbly for him.

ID--LOL to Calvin and Hobbes--love them--and once the lace gloves are done, I think I might actually have to wear them in the real world...

Karen ^..^ said...

I must say that I enjoyed this post immensely. I've always been a daydreamer too. Sometimes I let my imagination run away with me, and yes, I've burned dinner more than once as well.

I don't really day dream about anything much in particular, but there is one man who is a recurring character, and I don't even know why because I'd never be attracted to him in real life!

Dreamers are the best, you know. We're smart and witty and have VERY vivid imaginations.

Brian Miller said...

#1 - lol
#5 - I need to learn that trick

may you dream a 1000 dreams, and then find them in reality.

Cece said...

Well, after reading this post, I now have the song "Dreamweaver" by Steve Miller Band stuck in my head. It's ok to dream. It's ok to daydream, but it is unacceptable to burn dinner, so you need to teach Hedgie how to cook.

Candie Bracci said...

As a dreamer too,I must admit that I've been there once or twice,nothing really crazy for me.It's not too much as long as you turn a bit of that beautiful energy into creative and artistic stuffs.Cool,just let's be ourselves!Freedom for the daydreamers!lol.
Have a great day!:)

Leah said...

Karen--I think you're right, you know, it's all about having a wonderful imagination. And I guess it's a good thing to cultivate that--and I guess too, in "real" life I'd never want to be with Severus--way too much cajoling and jollying along would be involved with such a dark and pessimistic sort.

Brian--as for #5, you just need to apply yourself and you'll have the equation! Thanks for the words.

Cece--LOLoutloud as to Dreamweaver--now I won't be able to get that out of my head either--and you're right, I'd better teach Hedgie to cook!

Candie--that's the key, you're right. Translating the daydreaming into actual creative pursuits. I hope, I think, I'm doing that. My new slogan, Freedom for the Daydreamers!!! I love that.

MJ said...

To quote a song lyric, you're "having daydreams about night things in the middle of the afternoon".

Baino said...

Oh dear! That's some serious daydreaming there! Must admit I've driven through traffic lights and then wondered if they were in fact green! I don't so much daydream as constantly talk to myself!

Auntie, aka cagny said...

Girrrrl,
You are a scatter-brained BRAINIAC.
And it's totally okay to burn dinner while juggling your Hedgehog, Hubbs, and doctoral studies.

I don't think I'm a dreamer...my problem is I can only focus on one thing at a time...

So when I try to multitask while cooking, I will burn stuff on the stove.

BTW, I smell smoke coming out of the kitchen.
Gotta go.

HoodChick said...

I love to do me some day dreaming. Getting ready to take the dog out for a walk and indulge right now.

Candie Bracci said...

yeah love that slogan too!

to Baino,not only I daydream but I talk to myself too!I'm a desperate case!:D

The Idle Devil said...

U should wear them...next time there's a Harry Potter theme party and u bump into Severus Snape again. :)

Megan said...

I'm not really a day-dreamer. I think because I dream so vividly at the accepted time! :)

Cinnamon said...

LOL at Hedgie trying to break into your reverie! My son often catches me smiling and asks 'what are you smiling for'...so difficult to find an answer!

Re Severus- it's Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibilty) who does it for me- funny that he is also played by Alan Rickman!

Cinnamon said...

Ooops spelling again- Sense and Sensibility

savannah said...

respect you? girl, i LOVE you! ;) xoxo


(i'd like to place an order for a pair of those gloves, sugar!)

Robyn said...

LMAO! Oh leah! Love this post...have the giggles now and will for hours! You are cheeky dear! But I say wear those gloves for Sarge and nothing else...WOOOhooo did I just type that! :)

donna baker said...

I daydream all of the time. In my ghost story post, I quoted Poe. I felt it spoke to me. "Is it all that we see or seen, but a dream within a dream." Thanks for your kind words.