Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm Your Biggest Fan

I have bragging rights as the winner of MJ's "Guess the Brits" competition.  Perhaps it's a dubious honor, perhaps you think it just means that Sarge and I watch too much television.

But little did you know, it has a greater and even more embarrassing significance.

My UK readers, commenters and lurkers alike--from England, Ireland, Scotland and not yet Wales (though I hold out hope)--God, I adore You.  I have a crush on You.  And I may even be in love with You.  The gorgeous accents that have our Brooklyn staccato and even our Southern drawl beat all hollow, the way you say "fortnight" and "bloody hell," "duvet," and "herself" for "her" and "she"; and the way You measure Your chocolatey, custardy recipes in metrics that look for all the world like a favorable numerological prediction to me; the way You have kept on that mysterious "u" where our American laziness has truncated--"parlour," "favour," "flavour" and "colour" indeed! I can't even remember anymore whether I'm supposed to spell "gray" with an "a" or an "e," but I know which I like better--I like Your way!

So, Limerick London Belfast Dublin Glasgow Derby Liverpool Manchester Cardiff--the delicious names linger on the tongue--the regional differences like a mystery religion, and I've only yet been admitted to the church foyer...

I've been holding back, too shy to tell You the truth about my feelings; how could I ever measure up?

But now that I am officially champion at Guessing the Brits, I suppose the truth has come out anyway.  Yes, this Brooklyn girl is Your biggest fan.

Edited: Now I've gone and kindled a nice little flame down in the comments.  I suppose this is what happens when I try to objectify You.  Why not just lie back and be objectified? It can feel very nice sometimes. 

Edit part two: yes, I know the above edit is totally beside the point to the discussion below.  But I think it's funny, and I'm funny, and I had to include it just to humor myself.  


80 comments:

kylie said...

do i get points for inherited britishness???

Leah said...

Yes.

Brian Miller said...

i can fake a really bad british accent (with a mild southern drawl). lol.

mapstew said...

;¬)

xxx

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I'm with you, sister. I love the Brits! I'd pack up the kids and move there for good if it were possible. My mother-in-law would probably lie down on the runway at JFK and prevent the plane from taking off.

savannah said...

this is the best, sugar! i swear, honey, y'all are just too damn good! this had to be the best acceptance speech evah! xoxo

mago said...

Das perrrfide Albion hattt Dir den Kopf verdreht! :)

merelyme said...

Prose, darnit - prose...again!

Megan said...

Anglophile.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Blimey! I feel like I've been given an award!
Marvellous! [Brit spelling]
Sx

MJ said...

Yes, this Brooklyn girl is Your biggest fan.

I don’t THINK so!!!

*fecks off*

MJ said...

*returns ever so briefly to say you can have Alan Rickman*

Karen ^..^ said...

Oh, MY!!!

Leah, good Lord. My heaving bosoms!! I actually have to stop and catch my breath for a moment.

You put into words my EXACT sentiments!!!

Seriously. You need to write at LEAST one trashy romance novel... PLEASE, at least one. It will be a best seller!

I'm picturing all the stern, yet marshmallow-hearted Brits marching past as you described all of that, and my heart is still aflutter.

Damn, girl... You're good. I'm gonna have good dreams tonight! ;)

Karen ^..^ said...

Not that I um... really HAVE heaving bosoms... You know. I'm really rather flat chested. Heh.

Ronda Laveen said...

Do you feel better now that you've come out of the closet? Or, should I say loo?

Jimmy Bastard said...

Och.. calm yersel hen, can you no see that wee Scarlet has come over all a-quiver with the excitement of it all?

...and I've told you'se before, it's 'Glesga', no Glasgow!

Mr London Street said...

Good grief.

We don't say "herself" instead of "her", only dickheads do that. Just so you know.

Englishly yours,

MLS

Candie Bracci said...

Ah lovely!:)

Abi said...

Oh. Dear. I might hide under my duvet for a fortnight! You should look up Liverpool accents - nothing romantic about them. I don't have one mind you I'm quite stereotypically English sounding....

We should do voice blogs next :D

It sort of annoys me that so many British actors can only get jobs by faking US accents, because they sound so much more sexy in their original voices...but heyho :D

You do know that the whole American stereotype of an English person is incredibly rare here? Some of your TV shows make us wee with laughter when they do a 'London' episode and it's so ridiculous!

Abi said...

I thought a closet was a wardrobe?!

We don't keep clothes in the loo!

:o

PI said...

You did amazingly well. I wouldn't have remembered the names of the Scottish lads and Trinny and Susannah are very forgettable.
BTW I never know how to spell gre/ay.

nick said...

Well, I'm sure any Brit or Irelander would tell you, Leah, that alongside the romantic, charming characteristics you mention (gee, thanks!) there are plenty of decidedly repulsive ones. And I'm sure any Yank would have a similar ambivalence about the US. But still, I don't want to spoil your lovely affection for us all so no party-pooping on this occasion.

I love all the regional accents here too, particularly Irish, Welsh and Liverpudlian. And of course we also have local languages, unlike the States. Aren't we just swell?

Jimmy Bastard said...

Leah, a perfect example of just why the English are regarded as arrogant if not ignorant, by my fellow countrymen in particular, has been demonstrated most admirably by Mr London Street, and his short sighted comment above.

No doubt in his eyes we are merely 'Jocks' & 'Paddies'.


Hang your head in shame sir.

muralimanohar said...

Ha. All these years of living over here in Sydney (btw..I'm in Sydney again...for 10 days, anyway) pays off..I could have given you a run for the money on that quiz. :p

BTW...I DID know what avatar means. Ha.

Mr London Street said...

It's true... having been told off by a differently British person I must agree with Jimmy. It's only English people you don't say "herself" and "yourself" - in England they are associated with a ridiculously formal way of speaking that people use to make themselves sound important in the office.

But then I'm afraid I don't see myself as British. Just English.

Cinnamon said...

Ha, ha, didn't know this was on- took a quick a look- they are all so familiar in our lives, it's hard to imagine that anyone would not know who they are! Too much TV watched here as well..

@ JimmyB- I am English...I hope I am not arrogant and I have nothing against people from Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Kernow or anywhere else in our beautiful Isles.

PI said...

Mr LS you are just digging a bigger hole and talking - how can I put it politely - arrant rubbish. There is a whole different world outside the office.

Mr London Street said...

Lordy, everyone is so thin skinned today! I never intended to give offence (when I do I'm even better at it than this). Happy to take these comments down if they have annoyed British people, English people, Scottish people, people who say "herself", people who don't, people who work in an office and people who don't.

Though really, life's surely too short. Isn't it?

Leah said...

Oh what have I done...

My post was lovingly tongue-in-cheek. Americans are clueless about your whys and wherefores. We admire but have no idea.

However, I stand by my statement of worship.

savannah said...

the nuance of different cultures, sugar. we haven't a clue... xoxox

Cinnamon said...

Leah, Savannah- you have no idea. You should hear what the Cornish say about the Devonians...

As for me, I am very happy to lie back and be objectified!!

And through these comments I have discovered a blogger who resides almost in my back garden- see, you are bringing nations and neighbours together!

PI said...

And Lancastrians about Yorkshiremen.
Hi Cinnamon! I'm waving can you see me?

Karen ^..^ said...

Mr. LS::
Life is indeed too short, as you've pointed out... however, I see you return again and again to punctuate your original point. Sadly, that point seems to return to YOU again and again. A statement such as yours, inflammatory as it was (dickhead) was designed to stab at a certain region of people.

How about this? It's a blog, and not YOUR blog. If you'd like to opine on who says what and where, YOUR blog is a brilliant place for that. Perhaps you've done it here to hang on the coattails of a high readership, I don't know... but either way, it IS still NOT your blog, and this is just plain disrespectful of you. Kind of like spitting on a fellow guest at a party you've attended.

Mind your manners, sir.

Cinnamon said...

Hi PI, I'm waving back! Can you see me nestled at the feet of the Mendips?

Mr. Shife said...

Awesome post, and look what you stirred up in the comments section. Well congrats on your award. Very happy for you, and thanks for your advice on my blog about the baby. I appreciate it very much.

Anonymous said...

Hi, not normally a commenter, more of a reader, but just had to pipe in my own thoughts.
Mr Street was in the wrong, Jimmy was quite right to be offended.
Thankyou for listening.

Mr London Street said...

Karen - your response to the original comment has been far less temperate than the comment itself. I really don't need to be told off about my manners by you. I already have a lovely readership of my own and it's hypocritical of you to impugn my motives in that way.

I have already explained that I didn't intend to offend Jimmy, any other Scottish people or indeed anyone else. And this continuing discussion just looks a bit silly to me. I made it clear that I wasn't intending to offend any particular section of people. I suppose by commenting as you have you have called me a liar. But presumably, since it's you, that kind of conduct is okay.

I have told the lovely Leah, whose blog I like a lot, that if she wants me to take the comments down I will.

Leah said...

Oh I love you all just that much more.

The commenters here have always been the most intelligent, multi-culti and marvelous. I am often blown away by your humor, thoughtful ways, your kindness and great writing.

I have been schooled a little (although I wasn't really that ignorant before, let's be honest).

I do very much like to practice courtesy, though, and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but perhaps words like "dickhead" are better expressed while shouting out a car window at another driver who has cut you off, a habit that I have been known to enjoy from time to time. (whaddya want, I'm from Brooklyn).

I like how people enacted a form of communal reprimand here through the collective conscience; it's really rather organic and natural.

Hugs and kisses, and I mean it.

And I'm glad to have introduced some of the lovely people who drop in on me here.

Leah said...

p.s. nah, don't take down the comments! Censure is fine, but censorship is something else. Unless you want to take them down. I like a rousing discussion, and I'm not just saying that.

Leah said...

Just to state it more strongly--open discussion is good. I allow anonymous comments, I don't have blog owner's approval or even word verification up (not that I have anything against that for anyone else, just for myself), and so far have not needed any of those things.

Leah said...

p.s. I finally got to drag out some of my Durkheim and Erikson--collective conscience! I am a fan of it.

Forgive me my vanities. Graduate school has to be good for something after all.

Karen ^..^ said...

Comment to your edit::

LOL, indeed. Why not just enjoy basking in the ego stroking glow of objectification? The post was meant to be complimentary, and it was. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and it was one of those that I will return to read again. Makes your heart beat just a bit faster, the blood rush to your face just a bit more intensely, and lets the imagination run wild. My favorite thing.

Great post, Leah my love.

MJ said...

*comes back to look at Leah's comments and "Edit" updates*

Right on, Leah.

HERSELF has spoken!

Leah said...

Thank you Karen and MJ. Mwah.

Dot-Com said...

OK you get points for being funny and all, but in Ireland it's not terribly cool to be called a Brit. Or British for that matter. Not cool. The accent here is Irish and SOOOOO different *giggles*

Leah said...

Dot-Com--see above discussion. It's definitely been covered, at least indirectly.

I'm actually quite good at differentiating accents. It's sort of a sideline of mine.

crazyrivergirl said...

Leah, I live in Wales!

crazyrivergirl said...

But I'm Scottish!

Leah said...

rivergirl!!!!--yay on both counts!!!!

Madame DeFarge said...

Oh, I missed all the fun. Never mind. It's all so exciting. I never knew being Scottish and/or British was so special. Well, actually I rather like being Scottish - I get to say couthie words like 'fash', 'fankle' and 'bumfle' and say them with a straight face. And I say 'herself'. And 'by the way'.

I'm glad you adore us. It's a big love-in.

Leah said...

Mme--I'm so glad to see you at the love-in! Your words strike a joyful chord.

But perhaps I'd better quit while I'm ahead and post something new before someone comes and yells at me. But what to post?

Emerson Marks said...

Just had a look at MJ's quiz. I wouldn't have got number 5 right, neither.

Scarlet-Blue said...

I bet you'll pleased when us lot over the pond go to bed!
Bless you, Leah.
Sx

PI said...

Night Leah. Night Scarlet. Night all.

Leah said...

Sleep tight, you nice "lot over the pond."

hugs.

Karen ^..^ said...

Don't you just adore 56 comments on a post? I do... Never happened to me though.. maybe soon. ;)

just bob said...

Hi Leah.

Megan said...

Holy shit.

MJ said...

They'll be waking up again over The Pond just about now.

BEAST said...

Now do you see why international diplomacy is so difficult !
The Brits generally only stop bickering with each other to gang up on the French

MJ said...

See? What did I tell you, Leah?

Oh, good morning Beast.

lettuce said...

lying back (with a nice cuppa) & enjoying objectification

(and ensuing debates)

and instead of loo, you could say bog....



also - left a comment for you on made4aid. Yes you can! its yours! email about mailing?

kylie said...

oh my goodness, how did i miss this??

you have all forgotten about the aussies and you shouldnt have because we are the sexiest of all :)

Scarlet-Blue said...

Now I like the French...
Sx

BEAST said...

And FRENCH CANADIANS
***Points accusatory finger at Miss MJ the cheeser or should that be fromager***
and remember denials are tanamount to an admission in the Fascist state of Cafe C

Baino said...

65 comments! Biatch I wasn't allowed to play . .I'm an English born, naturalised Australian. Fair suck of the sav! Last time I opened MJ's site my son thought I was looking at porn . .oh wait! . .congratulations they're hard nuts to crack the Brits. (No pun intended)

Baino said...

Oh I forgot to say 'ee by gum, wears a flat cap and rides a bike' Just boosting your comments.

Donn said...

Did anyone address the "u" that we Canucks & Brits are saddled with..
blame the conquering Normans (1066) for making francais les la-di-da langwidge of the court for hundreds of years!

The Anglysche langwidge ended up stealing hundradz of Franch wyrds after dat so pffft!

This saucy attitude was displayed in the Grail when the snooty Normans cheekily replied, "That's verrry nice, but we alrready got w'one!"

nick said...

What d'yer mean, Baino, hard nuts to crack? I'm pretty open, me, I wear me heart on me sleeve. So stick that in yer pipe and smoke it, me old china.

just bob said...

Two words... Spotted Dick.

Leah said...

Ha!

This was a delightful party. Thank you one and all.

And on a final note...I do love Spotted Dick. Really.

Megan said...

Cheese, Gromit!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/somerset/8175347.stm

Judearoo said...

Nice post - one point to note: Ireland is not in the UK... a small fact, but an important one.

mapstew said...

Feck!
I go away for a couple of days with Herself and the Girls and all hell breaks loose!
And I missed it.

xxx

Poetikat said...

Congrats Leah! I was really sorry to see no trace of Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen.

Kat

Leah said...

Map, you totally missed it! And have I ever been schooled! I am a wiser woman for it.

Kat!--I have incredible readers!

Judearoo--I do know that now. I have indeed been schooled by my lovely readers!

Poetikat said...

Northern Ireland is, but let's not get into that!

Kat

Leah said...

Kat, I found that out too! It begins to make sense to me now, a bit.

Mrsupole said...

Hi y'all,

Nothing here makes sense to me. I am so lost as to who is who and where is who and who is where and what with me going to the loo to look for the closet, but eh the clothes are not there and with me being married to a Canadian eh who is an American, but who's family comes from Scotland and England or is it the British Isles that they come from. And being only one of my greats something or other comes from Ireland, but not sure if it is the Northern one or the regular one, but maybe back then they only had one cause that ancestor came here a few hundred years ago. And I thought that the Brits had chaps but not chapettes, well you know cause we have dudes and dudettes or as Candie and I now say gudes instead of dudettes.

I love the people from all across the pond because the Professor comes from there and a few of my other ancestors, but I swear I must be an ignoramous as to what everyone was fussing about. And why does a dickhead mean something bad to one group and not the other. Calling someone a dickhead is nicer than calling them an A**hole, but I guess they are at the opposite ends. Huh, got you all there.

Congrats to you Leah on the award and I am so proud that you know what the hey everyone was saying here. At least I know what a "boot" is and a "flat", okay I might recognize a few more, but that is from all those trashy novels I used to read.

So dang it I was supposed to keep my comments short, but screw it. I could not stop myself.

Love and hugs to you all, no matter where you are.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Hi Leah,

Oh and just to make sure you go to 80, I really would like to hear Brian's mild southern drawl with the bad British accent. I do not know why, but somehow that seems to sound hard to do.

God bless.