Friday, December 26, 2008
I Am Shocked
I will say this about myself. It takes a lot to shock me. I can't actually remember the last time, well before a few days ago that is, that I was shocked. I can stomach virtually anything--crime scene photos, of death injury and accident, even involving children or dogs, real live dead people, any and all sexual deviations written or represented in image...if it's violent, dirty, gruesome, perverse, grisly, horrifying, freakish, kinky, or any combination of the aforementioned adjectives, well, I might not enjoy it, but it just doesn't seem to affect me much. My sister jokes that I'm like a homicide detective eating a meatball hoagie while perusing physical evidence. Okay, I know I know that may be a bit far-fetched...but maybe not really...
I've given this personality quirk of mine quite a bit of thought recently. What made me this way? Wither the juxtaposition between my spirituality, my capacity for caring, my kind and gentle side, my love of soft colors and cashmere, sweet-smelling babies and hamsters, and this...this...weird wall of cold detachment? Is it a problem, or just nothing but a thing?
However...a mildly interesting thing happened to me when I visited Old Knudsen a couple of days ago. If you are familiar with the Knudsen blogging empire, then you know he has a genius sense of humor that requires some intelligence (I flatter myself and him) to appreciate without getting all offended and huffing off. Anyway, to make a long story short, I found myself shocked into horrified silence by an image presented therein. I won't direct you to this image, or even be any more specific, because I'm still traumatized. I asked myself, why this? Why is this shocking to me? This and virtually nothing else in recent memory? I can't answer that question. I suppose I should be glad that I can be startled out of my chilly fog. I was beginning to worry about myself a little there. So I'll just extend a truthful "thanks Knudsen for shocking me!"
I'll pose an idle question or two--are there parts of your personality that you have trouble reconciling? and also, are you easily shocked? What shocks you? or are you completely jaded? Or if you think you're a bit jaded, is there still anything that shocks you?