Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Dubious Approach to Family Planning

It's become obvious to me that Hedgie needs and wants a sibling. She had her first sleep-over on our anniversary, and loved it, especially, she told me, the comforting sound of her friend rumbling around in the top bunk, and the fact that just moments after she awoke, he peered down at her and they could get up together, eat rice krispies, and read comics before the grown-ups made their appearance.

I always shared a room with my sissy, even in adolescence, even when there was another room available, and we both liked it that way. Through all the squabbling and slapping, there was always a wonderful, faithful, and fun connection between us, and I just can't imagine it any other way. I never imagined I'd have an only child, but here we are, a family of three (not counting the myriad pets), with my at times severe anxiety keeping me from the second.

Now that Hedgie is older, nearly 8, and flourishing, and delightful and helpful, I can finally...maybe...imagine another one coming into our lives. Things would be different this time--I live now in the lovely nabe of my own upbringing, surrounded by dear friends and family and support systems aplenty, my marriage is strong and happy, our family life is at least reasonably cheerful and organized and peaceful, etc. etc...

Yet...still I'm full of trepidation. My pregnancy was really a great one (although my aversion to any and all smells, as well as compulsive approach-avoidance to barbecued chicken and bean burritos wasn't so fun), so that's not the problem. I even had a pretty good birth experience (despite the mind-blowing agony, it was kind of exciting too). I love babies, though toddlers scare heck out of me, I don't mind breast-feeding ad nauseaum. I don't know...something about interrupting our little circle of love here, bringing an unknown quantity in, well, it's always a gamble, and I do seem to overthink things...

So last night I spent a good hour browsing through the fancy baby carriages online. I thought maybe some shopping would give me the charge I need to carry things forward...a little sick, I think. But so like me.

Well, I discovered that I like the Peg Perego Skate in black. I like it, I want it, dammit all I shall have it. The question remains, do I want the baby that goes in it?

10 comments:

faycat said...

Personally, I think people who are so obviously exceptional as parents perhaps owe it to less maternally-inclined family members to have another...

BTW, I'm having the same anxiety about the thought of bringing another CAT into the house. I am a child.

Leah said...

Wait, could I just get a cat instead? Maybe I could push him around in the carriage?

Anyway, the only differences I can see between cats and kids are the playdates and the tuition. That and the cat doesn't sass you all the time. Or does he? lol

faycat said...

Cats are the masters of sass.

Megan said...

Well, I say go for it, but that's easy for me to say.

I like your approach, though!

I do regret sometimes that my son will probably never have a sibling. Because mine are my rock. Rocks. Whatever.

Bollix said...

Bean Burritos? I should imagine that the avoidance of smell after one of those babies was mandatory.

That thought aside.. what a charming and cosy blog you have here, Miss Leah.

Skeeter said...

Entertaining the thought of a new youngun, eh? Gotta admit there is a big difference between the kind of young ones that a small, pink and cuddly and those that are small, covered with fur and cuddly. Babies vs. kitties ... for Mrs. Skeeter and I with our son gone off to the University, We're voting for the one that purrs.

Best wishes,

Skeeter

Leah said...

Hi Megan! I actually think the only child family can be lovely. In fact, I could really see the appeal. We're very happy with just Hedgie, and she gets lots of attention (some might say too much, but hey...) and with us, well, it remains to be seen...

Welcome Mr. Bollix! Delighted to see you. Thanks for the sweetness.

Hi Skeeter, that must be a big life change with your son out of the house! If we were there, I think, no way would I want another...lol...

MJ said...

Eeek! Babies!

*arranges appointment for tube tying*

Suzanne said...

We were a big family. All had to share rooms. I shared with my older sister Janet. We didn't get along too well in our teen years. One day Dad had enough and came upstairs. He didn't utter a single word, but drew a chalk line right down the center of the room. Thank God the door was located at the end or we wouldn't have had a fire exit, and I would have had to report him to Child Welfare or something! Janet and I each had approximately 1'6" to enter and exit our bedroom. Fortunately we were both slender. Oh sure we still argued, but I was often told by that crazy woman, "DON'T YOU DARE CROSS THAT LINE." So instead I'd put my head in her air space. That really pissed her off, but I'd quickly get back into mine so she couldn't touch me. What?! One must always have an exit strategy.

I wouldn't change a thing. Sisters and brothers are the best. It's love that's beyond compare. Heggie would make an excellent older sister. She's a gem. And the two of you are amazing parents. Flip a coin then do the dandy depending on the outcome!!! Good luck!

;)

Lisa said...

Thankfully for me, that apartment was renovated long ago, so I can no longer add to the population. I can now live through my children.

You are as prepared now as you will ever be and Hedgie is a great age to understand all the ramifications that come with a small one adding to the family.

As for the Cat, I have four, and they are not only the masters of Sass, they are the masters of all they purvey. I would not trade them for anything at this point, as they have now become my family.

I may have to defer to your wisdom for items for Trouble...as I have not looked at baby stuff in over 22 years....eeekkkkk