Tuesday, March 4, 2008

F.U.B.A.R. (or, No Cheery Thoughts Today)

Yes, it's truly f-ed up over here in Plagueville.  I'm still sick, but praying the amoxicillin will kick in soon and do its missionary work.  Two weeks is a long time to be out of commission, and the toll is taken on this family.  A. looked at E. the other day and commented that between her long, raspy, over-grown fingernails and her matted hair, she looked like someone's neglected pet ferret. I hastily directed him to the hairbrush and nail clippers, but she still has a slight look of unkempt varmint.  I now know definitively that I bring a certain je ne sais quoi pas to this household that no one else can.  Without me, we're just a little dustier, a little less well-nourished, and I must say, it's a comforting revelation.   

So when can I reassert myself as empress of this wretched piece of the earth? When do I regain status as Lady, or is that Grand High Inquisitor, or just simply Butler...whatever, I miss it and the limited control that came with the role.  I've absolutely hated giving over this control to other people--most notably my darling mother, who has been an absolute Saint of Helpfulness.  Even with her kindness, it's been hard.  I am used to being in charge of things (as I bet a lot of you are too in your own lives).  I'm trying to see it as an exercise in letting go, these weeks of lying on the couch coughing weakly like a Victorian consumptive.  But it's had another downside, which is that I've really missed E. and A.  I have seriously been beyond communication for a lot of the time--I mean just totally out of it, first feverish, then stricken by excruciating sinuses--and E. just flutters around me, but I'm used to really being with her and with A.  I cannot wait to be back to myself.

9 comments:

Too Little Time said...

This can't last forever (though I realize it feels like it). Makes one appreciate their normal healthly state. - Healthy Thoughts - K

Skeeter said...

The sinus thing must be making the rounds. It's everywhere! Yuck!! Hope you get to feeling better soon. Best wishes :-)

CynicalGal said...

Oh my gosh. I totally relate. I am just now getting my tastebuds back from 6 weeks of various illnesses. So much phlegm, blech!

Feel better.

Leah said...

Thanks for the well wishes, I know I've become a gigantic whiner...cynical gal, I'm having that same problem with my tastebuds! It's so weird--nothing has been tasting or smelling right. Gross, eh?

Lisa said...

Hang in there! The magic of drugs will kick in and all will be right with the universe again.

Sarah said...

Hope you are starting to feel better. Being sick is the worst. I keep feeling like I'm on the verge of fighting something off... Keep resting and you'll be soon back to yourself.

I am just enjoying my first cup of coffee from the Sumatran you sent. OH MY GOD! This is the best cup of coffee I've had in forever. I love it. Thank you!

Leah said...

Sarah--I'm so glad you like that! I love it too. I make it sometimes in my regular drip pot, and sometimes in my little french press. Yummy both ways.

INNER VOICES said...

start drinking that expensive coffee and get yerself well!!! thanks for stoppin by and feel better!

Rima said...

I hope you feel better soon. I know what you mean by nothing tasting right. My grandma makes a concoction of tamarind, green chilli, and salt (well, it is an Indian recipe) when I am sick. It really wakes up my tastebuds.