Thursday, May 14, 2009

Oops: A Brief Tale of an Unrequited Girl-Dog Crush



There is a dog run across the street from our house, and many of the neighborhood dogs go there to play. It can be pretty yappy and noisy, but I don't mind because I love dogs so much, and it gives me a chance to lurk and ogle surreptitiously whenever I'm going in or out of our door. Mostly the dogs don't notice me, which makes me feel a little weird. I think they're so good-looking, so why won't they give me the time of day with a reciprocal ogle?

Yesterday morning, letting myself into the house, I stopped to check out the dog run. Sure enough, a disarmingly hunky boxer was rumbling along the perimeter. He stopped when he saw me checking him out, and came over, and pressed his drooly muzzle to the bars, his ears pricked up, staring at me. Finally, I'd gotten a dog to notice me back! I called to him across the street, but sotto voce, "Good boy, you're so handsome..." etc. etc. He didn't move. Wow, this was unprecedented! I must have been looking pretty good, I thought, for this beast to stare for so long.

But suddenly it occurred to me, why would the boxer be interested in me? This wasn't low self-esteem, just pragmatism. I didn't have Pippin with me any longer, nor was I carrying a giant salami hoagie. Just me and my purse. So, realizing it might not be me he was staring at, in my best wallflower move, I turned to check behind me to discover the real object of his interest. If this was a story with a happy ending, there would have been no one on the block, and I would have realized that the stare and little tail wag were indeed meant for me.

But alas, there, right behind me a few paces, was a little Jack Russell terrier, staring back at the boxer and wagging adorably.

Oops. I was as embarrassed as if this had taken place at the prom and I had mistaken the captain of the football team's little finger waggle in my direction for a come-hither aimed at me, instead of at the quarterback standing behind me (I was going to say the head cheerleader, but come on, it's so much better as a story of undercover gay love).

I managed to cover my shame with an elaborate show of unlocking the door while trying to hang onto my iced coffee...



*photo: Siba the Boxer Dog by Elliot Moore from Flickr Creative Commons

45 comments:

Poetikat said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who talks to strange dogs with that "You're so handsome" sotto voce.

Hilarious! Especially - the gay-lover scenario.

And this just happened? Talk about serendipity!

Kat

Mrsupole said...

You know the dog probably was looking at you too. Just that maybe the other dog snuck up behind you after. Or the dog was worried that the little dog might hurt you. Okay, I tried. But I really thought you were gonna say a cat was behind you. Then you would really get their attention. Pet a few cats and then walk by the dogs and they will really pay attention to you.

Sending doggy lovins to you now.

God bless.

PS...I hope you will be looking for a new pet soon. It always helps.

Suzanne said...

Okay, honestly, I've dated the "Captain," and also the football quarterback. I'm a lucky lady. Okay, honestly, they weren't that good!!! I'm serious. I wouldn't lie to you. Yes, yes, yes, they're all pretty and popular, but no, they don't know shit about "that!" Or "that." Trust me. I'm a "that" connoisseur!

And honey, you know Newman's 4 month anniversary just past. It doesn't go away. You know? I know you miss Pippin and I miss Newman. I'm afraid that's how it will always be.

I love you darling. Happy Thursday.

Suze XO

P.S. I always love your post honey. Always.

Wings said...

Very funny. This happens to all of us, at one time or another. Maybe not between two dogs, but still... :)

Brian Miller said...

fun post. cute pic. lets all just believe he was looking at you. i mean what does a Jack Russell have on you, right? hope you have a great day, and you get noticed. lol

Karen ^..^ said...

This was so cute. You are the most adorable girl.

I've always been the sort to fall madly in "crush" with something fuzzy. I'm always so honored when they show me the slightest attention! Now men? Eh, I could take or leave THEIR attention. Give me a fuzzy love interest any day over a man.

Does that make me weird at all?

savannah said...

hilarious!there's an ancient beagle that comes to visit us from down the block. the MITM always calls me outside by saying, "honey, your friend is here!" go figure... xoxo

kylie said...

great story, beautifully told, boxers are gorgeous.....
yep. all good

Leah said...

Kat--it was quite serendipitous (I LOVE that word, thanks for reminding me!) So you chat up dogs too? It has to be done quietly so one won't humiliate one's self. Although I never minded when people used to put the moves on Pippin...

Mrsupole--thanks for trying to boost my flagging ego, LOL! I will try the cat trick. And yes, we've been discussing almost daily when our trip to the pound will be...

Suzy--my school was too "progressive" (perhaps arrogant is a better word) to have a football team, cheerleading squad, or prom. But all the girls had secret prom envy for other schools...anyway, I never knew any football players until I met Sarge! And I must say, he is all that. But then again, he's an intellectual and as well, so maybe that's the appeal...

I was thinking about Newman yesterday, actually. I must say, I'm still in agony too over Pippin's loss. It's super awful, isn't it. For me, it's just sorta lumped in with all the other losses, one big ball of loss...I'm trying to be philosophical, spiritual, etc, but the truth is that the day to day is where we miss them (all of them, if you know what I mean). xoxo


Wings--you're right, it does happen! Maybe it's easier when one is between two dogs...
; )

Brian--thanks for the booster! although, some might say what do I have on a Jack Russell...I hope I get noticed too, but not in the wrong way as is liable to happen!

Karen--that's not weird! I feel like canine/feline attention is hard-won and so much more worthwhile than the other...

savannah--I'm glad to hear the MITM is accepting of your little love affair with your boyfriend, the ancient beagle...not all men would be!

Kylie--I love boxers too. My mom had a boxer named Caesar when she was little, who was apparently the nicest creature on the planet. She says the only problem was he sat next to her when she was eating, and drooled disgustingly until she lost her appetite and gave him her food...I'll bet he knew exactly what he was doing...

just bob said...

Hi Leah. Have a happy doggy day.

VE said...

Could have been worse, what if there wasn't anything behind you and they were just looking through you!

Brandy Rose said...

Oh, I know how you feel. Well, maybe not the dog part.

Skeeter said...

Well, it was almost a connection! Hate it when that happens. Maybe next time.

Best wishes,

Skeeter

Liza said...

Cute story.

Ronda Laveen said...

He IS disarmingly hunky. And there is something so charming about drooly (but messy) muzzles. You just aren't stinky enough. That's all. Dogs LOVE stinky. I've noticed that for them, the stinkier a thing is the better. This advice won't make you popular with the two-leggeds though.

Great story. Loved the love interest twist.

subtorp77 said...

Cool story..I like it! And I've done this a few times( tho' not with the doggies ) but thinkin' I was the one being stared at! Call me slightly embarrassed...

Tom said...

i have a different problem...dogs are always wanting to hang around with me, and i'm not even really a 'dog person'. Funny post.

Megan said...

I want an iced coffee!

Marianna said...

Interesting story. Loved the twist in the end lol

Happy TT
xoxo

Dot-Com said...

Great story, and I bet he was looking at you! What a cute picture, by the way :-)

Baino said...

Awww love a doggy tail, I mean tale. I'm relentlessly hopeless at patting and schmozing with dogs. I will so get bitten one of these days! We notice you Leah. Every day!

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

I agree with Brian. Let's just assume this handsome dog was drooling for you.
And that IS a great pic.
Reminds me of a guy I went out with once back in the day.
Whoops!

mouse (aka kimy) said...

I confess I talk to dogs all the time which is another factor in why it might take me twice as long to get from point a to point b.....

pepperoni pups are much more discreet than those salamis!

Suzanne said...

No prom? You poor soul!!! I'll email my prom photo and you can superimpose your face. That was a damn good prom, wasn't it Missy? You look so lovely in peach polyester.

Oh, and thank God for football players like Sarge. You my dear woman are very lucky! Smart, athletic, AND!

Now about Pippin and Newman. Baby, I know what you mean. I was standing over Newman's grave this morning reminding him how much we all love and miss him. I realized the bump in the soil is gone which means he's almost returned to dust. I don't want him to leave me. I want a bump. I was coming home from the park this morning and realized so many people and animals are leaving me and I don't know what to do with my ball of loss. I was supposed to send a sympathy card to a dear family friend last week, but haven't even filled it out. My mom would be apalled if she knew. I was trying to figure out why I haven't sent it yet. You know what I concluded? Actually putting it in the mail means his 30 year old daughter is really dead. You know me and death. I'm so not okay with it.

I realize I like this ball of loss though. It reminds me how much I've loved animals and people. How much they added to my life. It feels like a huge lump because it is a huge lump. It should feel heavy and often overwhelming because it is. I miss Newman every single day and I know I always will.

I love you darling, and yes, I understand. Thank you for such a beautiful comment and for understanding!

Love to all. Oh, and honey, when you have a minute, please email or put it right here. When should I send the wee one's plant. It has to be at a time you're spending a week or so in the Adirondacks so it gets watered and nurtured. Give me a date and I'll try to time it perfectly.

Love you.
XO

Sandra Leigh said...

The very best thing was that you felt you had to 'cover up your shame'. LOL!

The Silver Fox said...

Some like Boxers...

Some like Briefs...

Mike129 said...

Well, I am no dong, but *I* would ogle you.

You know, until you got that restraining order or whatever.

;)

Leah said...

Bob--happy doggy day back atcha doll!

VE--hahah! So true.

Brandy Rose--yeah, it has real-world applications...

Skeeter--I'm already trying for a next time! I've got my eye on this studly lab-collie mix...

Liza--thanks!

Ronda--you are so right. It's all about the stink, isn't it. I do feel better now...

Subtorp--isn't that awful when that happens?

Tom--yes, why is it that some animals seem deliberately to seek out those disinterested upon which to lavish their affection? How unfair! lol, maybe I'll try playing hard to get.

Megan--I've been drinking it by the gallon--I'm finding the not smoking suddenly really hard, and it's my only lifeline left...booooohoooooo...

Marianna--happy TT and thanks for stopping by!

Dot-Com--yes, maybe he was looking at me before that little upstart got in the way!

Leah said...

Baino--thanks! I love to schmooze with dogs...so far the only time I was bitten was by my own...

Auntie--thanks for bumping up my self-esteem!

and to your comment, lol!

mouse--Pepperoni Pups, what an excellent idea!

Leah said...

Suzy--all I can say is, it's very very very hard. One foot in front of the other, girl. That and laughter if at all possible. I don't know what else to tell us...

peach polyester! I longed for peach polyester!!! Sarge's prom date wore a fabulous pale blue Holly Hobby-style dress...swoon. My "progressive" school deprived us. Fk 'em!

Leah said...

Sandra Leigh--I know, right? I think I'm attributing just waaaay too much understanding to that dopey boxer!

Silver Fox--haha! In life, as in dog fantasy, I prefer boxers...

Mike--Welcome to Chez Weatherinthestreets--okay, I feel better now! As for the restraining order, well, we'll see!

Suzanne said...

I love you darling. Good luck with Mike. Just remember, you cause your own trouble!!!

XO

Karen ^..^ said...

OMG!!!! MIKE!!!!! Go read your typo!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Mike is so funny. Mike makes me HOWL with laughter. I just scared my cat off my lap when I read that.

And the restraining order comment. CLASSIC!!!

Hahahahahahahaha.

Yer funny, Mike. Where'd you disappear to, by the way?

merelyme said...

Leah - I have just read two of the best posts ever...this and your last. You are incredible.

So when do we get to read your published "Reflections On Weather in the Streets"?

Mike129 said...

@Leah: Thank you for the gracious welcome. I will be ogling until the authorities pay me a visit.

@Suze: Bite me. (You know you want to.)

@Karen: LOL! I did not see the typo when I posted it, but it is funny. And of course *you* would see it. You say you don't care about guys, but you zero right in on their dongs, don't you? ;)

I have not been far, but it has been a crazy busy week. I am racing the weekend in 100-miles-from-Nowhere, CO. Prep for that has taken lots of time, and now that the weekend is here, it will take all of my time.

A.Decker said...

He is a handsome fellow. And that is definitely a very "oopsy" tale.
I'm for going with the theory that he was looking at you, and that cute little dog came up and did something unfair--like being a cute little dog--and stole your thunder.

Well, hope the coffee was good. ;-)

Suzanne said...

Leah, you are actually going to encourage him?!!!!??? *Suze rolls eyes in head and mumbles "little s*** head." Baby, he said "Bite me." I've seen kosher pickles bigger than that thing. Oh you know we're gonna tussle. Not on my blog because he's too afraid of flowers, but somewhere, at some point the hammer's coming down. And you all know who the winner will be. Trust me Mike. They all know. Here honey, kiss my ass ahead of time because you'll never see it again.

Oh, and Leah. The Thorn Birds. You rock sister!!! But I think I'm going to win. You know why? Because for once I think a know a book better than you!!! But IV just showed up. You know IV. Smooth. Kylie likes smooth. I'm not too keen on this.

XO

Leah said...

Suzy and Karen--he's a lil joker, ain't he. I didn't even catch the "dong" misspell. I thought it was deliberate!

merelyme--that is the nicest, sweetest, awesomest compliment. It made my day.

A. Decker--the coffee was delish! And I like your interpretation very much. By the way, I saw "Let the Right One In" and was totally blown away. Next on my list, "Vampyr"!

Suzy--we should totally have a "Thorn Birds" trivia smackdown! xo

Suzanne said...

Okay, a The Thorn Birds smack down. I'm in. You are smarter, so write the rules. I'm in. I'll play by them. Just make them fair. You know I'm going to win, don't you? Baby, no one beats me at The Thorn Birds. Nobody.

Suzanne said...

Oh, an about "what's his name." He's a smart ass. Put him up against FdB. I'll kick his ass. He'll never know what hit his porche. Never!

Mike129 said...

Geez! If Suze did not offer to present me with her ass, I might have to consider taking offense.

But I won't. I know she wants me. :D

(Is it always this crazy here?)

Leah said...

Mike--the craziness waxes and wanes with the fullness of the moon--or the moods of the ladies--you just never know!

Mike129 said...

Or, perhaps, the fullness of the moons of the ladies?

Regardless, it all makes me smile.

Walker said...

Those Jack Russel do know how to wag.
Maybe thats what you need to do, Wag your tail a little more ;)

Eric said...

Hi Leah, came over by way of Maria's and just wanted to say that I'm enjoying your writing a lot.
As a former band geek (now just a geek) the football player story is definitely better with the gay angle.