Thursday, January 27, 2011

Disney World: a Journey into Meh

Flight cancelled, stranded by the fancy pool in the fancy hotel in Orlando (courtesy of the MIL, whose brainchild this trip was)...I suppose I can't complain...

Or can I?

Not capable of well-phrased linear sentences, so will instead resort to lists

Things I Hate about Disney World:

1. Disney World
2. Walt Disney
3. Mickey Mouse
4. The extortionist prices of everything from postcards to hot dogs.
5. The dictatorial nature of the place: you must do certain things in certain ways and feel a certain way about it.

Things I Love about Disney World

1. Daisy Duck
2. The bizarre, stylized way the beautiful princesses hug the little girls.
3. The exuberant loveliness and well-meaning racism of "it's a Small World."
4. Watching dads posing with Ariel and trying to cop a feel.
5. Watching Ariel evade dads' pinchy fingers.
6. Listening to Sarge do his Evil Mickey impersonation.
7. Getting to deconstruct my experience rather than being in the moment.

Things I hate about Universal Studios

1. Universal Studios
2. Not meeting a costumed Snape character in Hogsmeade

Things I Love about Universal Studios

1. Hogsmeade
2. Hogwarts
3. Animatronic owls
4. Frozen butter beer
5. Cold pumpkin juice
6. The Hogwarts Express
7. My new Slytherin scarf
8. The possibility of meeting Snape around any given corner. I didn't, but I might have.
9. The Hogsmeade postmark.
10. Did I mention, Wizarding World of Harry Potter?

Well, suffice it to say, I am a cynical cynical woman, and prone to self-conscious analysis and social commentary. In the end, these places are not for me.


Tess Kincaid said...

I wondered about you and Disney World. The pair of you seemed quite a dichotomy. This explains a lot.

Brian Miller said...

ha. dads trying to cop a feel...oh, i have this to look forward to in a couple years...

savannah said...

i always seem to have a sort of chemical flashback, so to speak, whenever i visit any of the disney sites...

on the upside, it's warmer for you in orlando than brooklyn! xoxoxo

CSI Seattle said...

Okay, I didn't mind you picking on Disneyworld, but since you threw down on Universal Studios, you and I may need to go to mediation before we can speak again. BTW- was this experience doomed from the beginning since MIL was in the picture?

corticoWhat said...

Soooo, Ariel is hot in real life?

Anonymous said...


*falls off chair*

I love you.

Hug hedgehog.

Brandy Rose said...

If you had gotten to meet a costumed Snape character you would have just hated it more because he would have been nothing like Alan Rickman.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

The thing is, last night we booked a trip to Disney in March. It's for The Daughters, you see. My enthusiasm is at about level four. I'll make an effort not to spoil it for their sake. They'll be so happy, I suppose.

Pat said...

I knew I was right to give up flying.

JGH said...

When we went to Disney World, all the staff of the hotel were so Stepfordly, chatty and friendly. It gave this New Yorker the creeps. My instinct was not to make eye contact. But then I realized that it was starting to rub off on me and I was becoming (gasp!) happy.

nick said...

Not having children, I've never sampled the Disneyworld experience. I suspect my reactions would be as ambivalent as yours, if not openly repelled. Poor Ariel, having to evade all those lecherous fingers every day.

Leah said...

Tess--you're right, me and Disney World, not a match! Lol

Brian--who knows, you might enjoy it! Maybe I'm just too curmudgeonly?

Sav--lolol! I wish I could have a chemical flashback!

CSI--don't worry, everyone else really loved Universal! And between Harry Potter and the Jurassic Park ride, I was pretty happy too...

CorticoW--omigod, Ariel and all the live princesses were soooooooo hot!!!!!!

Leah said...

Mago-- : D. Xxxxxxxxooooooooo

Brandy Rose--you are soooooo right.

UB--if your little girls are happy, which I bet they will be, then all will be well. Hedgie is at a funny age where she doesn't like to be embarrassed, and there is a lot of embarrassment potential. A year ago, I think she might have fared better, especially if she'd been with a younger child.

Pat--ohhhh I hate flying!!!! Half the battle really.

J--I know what you mean.

Nick, you wouldn't like it, especially I suspect the tremendous wasteful expense, and all these families who can't afford it spending sooooo much money and stressing out.

Sarah said...

I too have a hatred of Disney World. I find the whole place sadly disappointing. And I'm the person that has been accused of being too happy and optimistic. At least you had Hogwarts...

Sausage Fingers said...

you mean to tell me that the so called "Happiest place on earth"
didn't make you grin from ear to ear from the minute you arrived 'till the minute you left and realized you spent all your money. Trust me, I was a bloody season pass holder there for many years. You could stay at the Waldorf for a month and still spend less. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts....just in case the mouse in listening.

Tracey said...

Sadly, I love these places. The sentimentality and the cheese. But, I refuse to own any Disney crap.

When I was young and childless (college) I went to Disneyland with some friends. A family of four in line behind us was having a rough time of it. Hot, tired, bickering, when finally the dad snapped at his (10 year old?) daughter, "This is the happiest place on earth, God dammit!"

So, we went on our honeymoon, before we had kids to suck all fun out of it.

Baino said...

Only been to Disneyland and Universal in 1995 with 1a 12 year old, compensation for me dragging her all around alpine Europe but frankly, Ioved it!

Madame DeFarge said...

I'd have preferred to hang on and see the shuttle launch. But hope you have a good time nonetheless.

Megan said...

I love Disneyland. It is a place where so many great memories were made. It was such an EVENT, you know and plus we got to see family that we seldom saw and we were a gang of kids banging around the park all day, playing tag on Tom Sawyer's Island and feeling that wonderful change in temperature when you finally got inside Pirates and rear-ending each other on Autopia and I could go on for hours as you can probably guess.

So anyway when I go these days (which is every two or three years, I guess) those memories are always immediately present the minute I walk in the gate. It truly is a happy place for me. :)

Leah said...

Sarah--it was disappointing! And I was actually all set to love it!

Sausage--haah! the Mouse has turned evil in my mind!!!! However, since childhood I have adored the Disney characters--especially Donald Duck and the nephews, and MOST especially Unca Scrooge. I wish there had been a life sized Scrooge for me to hug, but alas, he seems to have fallen out of popularity...

Tracey--actually, I bet Sarge and I would have enjoyed it together. Not that Hedgehog at ten is difficult, but the place would have taken on a new and funny aspect with just the two of us.

Baino--I won't cast any aspersions on anyone who loves the place--I think I could imagine loving it--I didn't at the time, but hey, it's possible!

Mme--we were sooo sorry to miss the shuttle launch, and by only a matter of days! That would've been amazing.

Leah said...

Miss Meg--I can totally see how Disneyland (which is, to begin with I think, very different from Disney World) could be amazing if you had a big fun group of family, and you had a family history of fun there. Makes total sense. Alas for me.

Liza Ursu said...

Those places aren't for me either.
I am glad you went though, this post is hilarious!