Sunday, September 6, 2009

First Light

I was lying in bed with Sarge last night, having one of those conversations that people have, in bed, when they have been together a long long time and still like each other tremendously.

It was the kind of conversation that floats dreamily from mundane to teasing to serious to frankly existential. And then back again. The kind of conversation that begins with a query about whether the car insurance was paid, or what the hamster has been doing so secretively and industriously these past few nights, and ends with God or the finitude of the universe. The kind of conversation that might or might not last till first light, depending on so many things: how the threads are picked up and examined; whether provocative gambits are deployed and which ones gather response; depending on stamina--one might drift off while the other is still talking, a transgression always forgiven; depending on whether or not a light touch on a bare shoulder turns us from intellectual to purely corporeal and then helplessly to sleep...

But we have often over the years been surprised in mid-sentence by the first creeping tendrils of grey light, the first bursts of bird song.

"is it morning already?" I'll ask, amazed.

"We talked through the night!" he'll reply, and I can always feel a smile in his voice.

33 comments:

  1. There's a word for people who even though they are in a long term relationship, talk to each other and like being together whenever they can.

    It's called love, and your house and your heart is full of it Leah. Be proud... be very proud.

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  2. Good morning Leah,

    "...how the threads are picked up and examined". I think that is the infinite capacity of love. Threads of emotions, words, intimate feelings, memories, hopes and dreams; stitched together forming a seamless pattern of clothlike fabric.

    Thanks for a very lovely thought Leah.

    U

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  3. i love those conversations...i love when people are still in love like that as well...may you see first light together for years to come...

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  4. Oh, do you realize how lucky that you are? :)

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  5. I don't think Jenny and I have ever talked right through the night, we'd collapse from exhaustion long before that. But I know what you mean about those darting, zigzagging conversations. What fun they are, you have no idea where they'll end up.

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  6. Blimey Leah, you really do live the all amercian dream don't you. In love, nice kiddy, books and stuff.

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  7. What HAS the hamster been doing?

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  8. I liked this one an awful lot Leah.

    The best conversations are the ones you don't plan to start and can't bear to finish. And, if you're lucky, they can last a lifetime.

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  9. Jimmy: I know you know! A toast to long marriages, in all their vicissitudes and delights--

    U: thank you so much for adding your beautiful words to my post.

    Brian: how lovely. It's almost like a benediction: may you see first light together for years to come. And you two as well!

    otin: I do, but I like to remind myself every so often...

    nick--it's true that one has a bit of a hangover the next day from those all-nighters, but I always feel it's worth it. And nothing a strong cup of coffee won't right! I do like the way you put it--"darting, zigzagging conversations." They keep love alive, and are a reflection of a lively love. If you will.

    Emerson: it's not always perfect, really. I guess nothing ever is. But I do like to remind myself that it can be wonderful.

    MJ: Sarge says the hamster is "renovating." I think he's plotting something. However you look at it, it's ominous.

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  10. I drank through some nights .. "is it morning already?"

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  11. Being a widow, they're the conversations I miss the most. Pillow talk these days doesn't exist for me, you're a lucky woman to be in love with your best friend.

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  12. Aw. This is the sort of love I hope to someday have. Fingers crossed. Great post.

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  13. green with envy doesnt begin to describe my feelings right now :)

    what a beautiful thing!
    congratulations to you both

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  14. MLS: you have put it so perfectly.

    Karen: of course, with it comes the irritation, the fights, I could go on. I try to focus on the good bits, sort of being my own cheerleader.

    mago: that is fun too!

    Baino: I guess I am in love with my best friend. Of course, repeating what I said to Karen above.

    birdykins: you shall, if you want it! And thanks for dropping by.

    kylie: of course it's work too, so much work. And I'm often churlish. And we squabble. But I always hang onto that feeling I have with him...

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  15. Oh, I'm sorry. I want to be team player and all, but I just can't stay up that late.

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  16. 'It must be love, love, love!'

    We do that.

    Jimmy says it better though! As always!


    xxx

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  17. Oh, my. I'm starting to feel like my visits here are a stroll through some amazing neighborhood where everyone would like to someday live.

    Another great post, Leah.

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  18. "a transgression always forgiven"; oh my, if only everyone could adapt to that. Truly blessed Leah, yes?

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  19. Wonderful- I am really happy in my heart for you. (You describe it so well, as always)

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  20. Brian: Yeh, this morning on only four hours of sleep, this doesn't seem as romantic as it usually does. But I'll have my chicory coffee and be all sorted!

    map: you say it well too! I love your voice.

    Hunter: believe me when I tell you, it storms too sometimes, in my nabe...

    subby: well, ultimately in a marriage, I guess that has to be the way, else the seething mass of resentments would be too deep to wade through, lol!

    Cinnamon: that is a really sweet thing to say. xxoo

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  21. Leah,"seething mass of resentments"; ouchies! I know too many couples with this problem...more on that at a later time...maybe...

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  22. subby, I know couples like this too. It's an exercise in love and acceptance to let things ride, especially the minor things...the only way to keep it together for decades! Well, that and tremendous love and liking, that does help too.

    It's always so uncomfortable to be around those couples, isn't it?

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  23. Leah, spot on there, especially went you want to help but at the same time have to keep your distance...very frustrating, yes...

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  24. I admit that Bing and I have never talked all night. But, in our defense, we are both usually nodding off around 9 at night and both have extremely stressful jobs.

    I think maybe I could do it if I were sitting up in a chair or something. The softness of the bed, the sheets always lures me off.

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  25. Hi Maria!

    Sarge has a stressful job, but I don't think mine is especially. I think we split the difference and it evens out to an occasional all-nighter!

    To be honest, I'm usually the one who drifts off mid-sentence, if one of us is going to do it...yes, the lure of the bed is ultimately sleep...

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  26. Check my blog out. You've won something.

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  27. I was sent by Mr London Street (not as a missionary, or anything odd like that) and he was right. What a lovely post.

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  28. Congratulations, Leah. This was my personal favorite post of the week, so any and all accolades are well deserved in my book.

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  29. I loved this post. Not that my wife and I ever talk late, one or both of us is pretty much asleep immediately. But still, it captured something precious. And as for hamsters, even now I ponder over their generally secretive nature. Our last (sadly deceased) hamster kept a deadly secret. He would piss by shoving his bum up the back wall of the cage (yep, basically a hand-stand), after a few months of this we realised the wall behind and carpet below was completely stained.

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  30. That's basically what I hope to have today.

    Nice post. I found you via Mr. London, and I'm glad I did.

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  31. wonderful read. Made me feel tremendously lucky to be able to relate.

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  32. I miss those talks..since coming here, our sleeping arrangements have been communal and all over the place, which are just so not conducive to pillow talk. But they are the best conversations, private, in the dark. I can't wait til we are able to do that again.

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