Sunday, April 12, 2009

My Life Was Saved by Rock n' Roll

No, really. Trapped in that mother-in-law minivan that's become our metal coffin/prison cell/cement serial killer dungeon, driving miserably for hours through Texas backroads to God knows what, seething at all the rules against lowering the windows, adjusting the air conditioning, listening to anything other than the soft-country station on the radio, talking about anything more interesting than the current state of the aquifer or local taxes or what's going up in place of the old strip mall Target...

Hedgie had her nose buried in a new Nancy Drew, chewing her Hubba Bubba contentedly, but I was about to flip the fuck out.

Sarge, sensing tether's end, handed me back my charged ipod and headphones, and suddenly it was all right!

I feel lucky that I didn't have the sort of adolescence where I had to drown my parents out with music.

But I do have to drown my MIL out.

Lost in my playlist, delightfully lost. I'm not sure if MIL was talking to me because Meg White was pounding her drums just way too loud, The Streets declaiming in thick cockney, Pete Townshend wailing on a guitar more alienated than me in Texas. I had a sudden secret 14-year-old feeling like I was sticking it to the man. Even though The Man was actually a wicked little old lady, well, I'm sure she would not have approved of my noisy music.




46 comments:

Auntie, aka Dog Girl said...

Rock on, girl.
Rock on.

savannah said...

amen, auntie aka dog girl!
gurl, girl, gurl! my ipod has saved me more than once form the hell that is in-laws xoxo
keep on truckin, mama

savannah said...

dammit, from not f-o-r-m! ;)

(although i must admit, my SIL is a form of hell on earth!)

Old Knudsen said...

Well thats so mature, what ever happened to conversation? In my day we had to make our own entertainment, no ipods iphones or icandy we had to talk about the weather in the streets and what Kaiser Bill was up to. We respected our elders in fact we had a special hut at the bottom of the garden next to the bathroom that we'd keep them in and were they happy? well we never heard any complaints.

You people, there I said it again don't know yer born.

Old Knudsen rule #1 mess with the horn get covered in bull.

#2 never talk about #1

#3 there is no #3

#4 bondage gag balls are the perfect mother's day gift.

#5 MJ sent me.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I hadn't heard that in a long, long time. Thanks! Now, where'd I leave my bong?

Jimmy Bastard said...

I have to feel slightly for your MIL on this occasion.

It must have been very difficult for her to live with her own insecurities these past 10 days.
Especially as her nemesis is younger, a lot more intelligent, and lets not forget beautiful as well.

All credit to the Sarge for his support.

CyberPete said...

I grew up with family holidays and everyone survived due to Sony and the miracle known as the Walkman.

The sounds of Straight Up and Cold Hearted by Paula Abdul mixed with a bit of Kylie and Belinda Carlisle. What a childhood!

Leah said...

Auntie--oh I will, I will!

savannah--the ipod savior we shall heretofore refer to it...

Old Knudsen--100% agreement: completely immature. In my day too we respected our elders. I guess it's just not my day anymore. As for the hut, I think that's now where I'm to be kept.

Unbearable Banishment--I think you left it over at my place...

Jimmy--I know I know, part of me feels so guilty, but if you only knew the incredible amounts of tolerance I have even for the very deaf and very old and tedious, I can sit over tea for simply hours and be kind and listen and even enjoy myself, trust me--this is a special case, I promise I'm not a complete jerk.

Jimmy Bastard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jimmy Bastard said...

"... a complete jerk"

No indeed you are not. You are very far from it.

I even found myself discussing some of your intelligent views with my wife this morning.

Remind me to tell you sometime exactly what she does for a living.

Cece said...

Next time, take a can of Flarp. It is also called noisey puddy. You stick you fingers inside this cool sort of slimey gooey stuff, and it makes wonderful fart sounds. It is a wonderful stress reliver. Try it the next time you go visiting the Devil of Texass.

Brian Miller said...

hehe. Rock on, rock out. only a few days left?

just bob said...

Hi Leah... isn't music the great soother for all of us? Glad to hear you are surviving. It's only a few more days :)

Ronda Laveen said...

Nancy Drew. I loved Nancy Drew. I read everyone I could get my grubby little hands on. We didn't have iPods back in the day, but we did have Nancy Drew. I hid out in her world for much of my adolesence.

You know, I've heard that "the Man" is quite the trickster. I am not surprised that he inhabited the body of your MIL. Stick him, stick him hard 'n quick before he morphs again.

Leah said...

Jimmy, okay, what does your wife do? Now I must know. Can you whisper it in my ear? Is she a Rabbi?

Leah said...

Cece--I love Flarp! What a great idea! Hope you're feeling better my dear--

Brian--yup, only three days. I shall most definitely rock out!

Just Bob--music is such a lifesaver. Sarge says it got him through his entire adolescence, and without it who knows what would've happened...

Ronda--I loved Nancy Drew. Did you ever read Trixie Belden? Or Cherry Ames?

And yes, The Man is a morphing menace... ; )

Leah said...

Cyberpete--omg how I loved my Sony Walkman. My sister and I had a dual jack and we could listen together! Ah, the '80s.

Baino said...

Haha you in a world of your own . . perfect escape! Plus she'll get mighty pissed that you're ignoring her . .perfect all round really.

Karen ^..^ said...

Wow, I so love you, girl!!! How delightfully rebellious you still are.

Thank God for the Ipod!!! Thank God for Sarge.

You've got a good man, there, Leah.

And THANK GOD for MUSIC!!!!!

The Idle Devil said...

Ha ha! Love it!

Suzanne said...

You still in freakin' Texas!!! Damn. A week has become so long.

I think Jimmy loves you. He's married. Hummmmmmmmmmmm. Does his wife know?!

I have to admit I love Sarge. He must be one hell of a remarkable man. When I saw him with the wee one I melted. He's adorable. Nothing like I expected. I though he was a brunette! He's a great, great man because he loves you. You are a piece of work! Yes, you know what I'm talkin' about!!! You are a F&^#%ing piece of work. How the hell is Texas surviving you? I bet it can hardly wait till you leave. You know what you are? Trouble.

;)

Suzanne said...

Baby I was just walking through the living room to turn everything off. Bobby Flay was having a "Smack down" on the Food Network. Yes, maza ball soup. Swear to God!!! I stood and watched in absolute awe. Wow. Pretty. Bobby didn't win (but yummy, yummy, yummy), the Maza Ball King won. I think you should make both and invite me for dinner. Oh, I also think you should get on Gramma's.com. She's a cutie! I love Jewish women! Hell, I'm going to make both! You know me and soup. Damn. Send me your best recipe. Yes, it's true...a white woman gone Jewish. What? Leave me alone. Really, you gotta see those two soups. Gorgeous. I never realized until tonight that maza soup is an art. It is. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Jimmy Bastard said...

I've whispered in your cyber ear.. check your mail.

Scarlet-Blue said...

I've been sent by MJ ;o)
I was wondering how you were getting on [I've been lurking!]
Sx

Mrsupole said...

Life is so grand when you can tune it out and listen to the music of your choice.

Just keep doing this and make sure Sarge keeps the iPod charged. I wish I had one sometimes, but I am pretty good about ignoring people. I have some hearing loss and so I just keep saying, "Excuse me what did you say?" After a few times they get irritated and give up, then I have the satisfaction of them thinking I did not hear what they said.

The iPod works just as well. Just keep bouncing and bopping to the music with a big smile. Every once in a while sing the words very softly, it will make MIL try to hear you.

Keep smiling and God bless, only a few more days left.

Dot-Com said...

Hope you're having a rocking good time. Keep smiling :-)

Megan said...

Music to soothe the savage beast, eh?

;)

MJ said...

Was the song 'Mother-in-Law' by Ernie K-Doe on your playlist?

Madame DeFarge said...

I tend to use my iPod at work when I need to type stuff that has to sound reasonably intelligent. Apart from the tendency to sing along, it works very well.

Need to compile my own MIL mix. A superb idea.

savannah said...

tellmetellmetellme...you have my email adress! ;) xoxox

(neverevereverever apologize for your behavior, sugar! promise?)

CyberPete said...

You've gotta love the 80s!

Now I am addicted to my iPhone but the style of music hasn't changed much.

Emerson Marks said...

That's it. Get the ipod on, drown it all out. Personaly, I find that the ipod's earphone's are a right pain in the arse. It's a bit like when my Mum's dog used to eat Maltesers. They just fall out.

Brandy Rose said...

Aw, if only that worked on everyone. There are a few choice ppl I'd like to drown out with rock-n-roll.

Leah said...

Baino--exactly right. Heh.

Karen!--doesn't it just feel great to be rebellious sometimes, even if it is a wee tad immature? And as for Sarge, he really has been an absolute trooper, the poor guy.

Idle Devil--yes, my ipod has now been elevated to a godlike status in my mind.

Leah said...

Suzy--seriously, a week has become what seems like a month, hasn't it?

Now I will address some of your points, one by one LOL!

1. As for Jimmy Bastard, he is in love with his lovely wife, which is a magically romantic story in and of itself...ah, I'm such a sucker for romance, the real kind I mean...

2. Sarge, well, honestly, I would say I'm not sure how he puts up with me, but then again...I guess it's just our own peculiar romance...

3. Texas will not survive me but I will survive it!

4. Matzah ball soup! Yes! You must make yourself some, as it really is good for what ails ya. There are two schools of Matzah ball: one says that the ball must be dense and leaden, full of heavy delicious matzah-y goodness. The other says it must be light and airy. As with my politics, I fall in the middle. I like a large matzah ball which is light and airy on the outside, with a lovely dense almost chewy center. Yum. Now go get cooking, lady!

xoxo

Leah said...

Jimmy Bastard--I hear you!

Scarlet-Blue--Welcome to my neck o' the interwebs! Nice to have you here, but sorry you had to come into the midst of my egregious whine-fest...

Mrsupole--I always look forward to hearing what you have to say! The ipod is great--selectively deaf is great too! And God bless you my dear

Dot-com--now I am, thanks to my ipod-y boyfriend!

Megan--exactly.

Leah said...

MJ--I just went and gave that a listen. You have made my day.

Mme. DeF.--My husband loves your moniker very much by the way. And yes, the MIL Mix. Should be on many many ipods, I suspect.

savannah--ask the JB--he knows all the secrets! and thank you for that comment. I kept it in mind today under some rawther trying circumstances...

Cyberpete--I want an iphone!!!! I am such a techno junky it's not even funny.

EM--My husband and I had such a laugh over your comment about the dog and the Maltesers!!!

Brandy-Rose--I think that, unfortunately, there are those who would rip the earbuds right outta your ears...I wouldn't test everyone with the ipod ignoring tecnique...

Suzanne said...

Leah,

I know. Are you ever getting out of that country? This has seriously been one of the longest weeks of my life!

What you said about Jimmy and his honey is precious. We have lovely friends, don't we? We're so lucky. I kid around, but honestly, I just adore the way he cares about you and the family. He's a beautiful person.

Now about soup. Honey, have you watched the video? If you haven't, you really must. I was just transfixed by the damn thing. Who knew maza ball soup could be so complex and beautiful. I know there's a lot of history behind the soup, but I never realized how beautiful it is. Bobby's was very simple and elegant, but the Maza Ball King's soup was colorful and absolutely gorgeous. And the two judges cracked me up. One is a writer of all things Jewish and has been for over 30 years, and the other is "Grandma!" They killed me! Especially when they were discussing the nuance of a damn maza ball. Who knew? Well apparently you because you explained the difference. Oh, and also the word. Now on the show they used the word Maza, but of course I know it's Matzah. Are both okay?

I'm seriously going to make both soups. I'll photo document my success or failure. Once I do this you know I'm officially Jewish! *Walks aways muttering "Thank God I don't have a son.*

You and Sarge. Life is good darling. And thanks for always looking after me. It matters you know.

I love you very much. I'll love you a whole hell of a lot more when I win some socks.

XOXOXOXO ;)




Matzah (they wrote Maza?)

Suzanne said...

Sorry, forgot to talk about music. Go girl!

Leah said...

Suzy--I'll check it out definitely! I love matzah matzo mazza...

You can actually spell it any way you like. Because it's just a transliteration of a Hebrew word, it's spelled phonetically. As with all phonetic spellings of words in languages that use other characters, there are definitely some commonly accepted spellings (matzah, matza, matzo, and matzoh being four of them. It also goes to whether you pronounce the words ashkenazically or sephardically--ashkenazim from Europe pronounce final "a"s with an "aw" sound rather than an "ah" sound hence the Matzo vs. matza.)

Now my spiel is over.

xo

Candie Bracci said...

Glad you're saved!lol
Rock is the best!Forever!
:)

CyberPete said...

The iPhone is GOD.

I don't know how I lived without it. It is the love of my life.

Walker said...

YAY!!!!!!!
Been trying to get here for 2 days now.
Seems i had to add some addons because of someone the elements you have on your blog but I don't give up

I look at it as music saving the world when i am wearing my IPOD and isolating myself from the rest of the world.
If it wasn't for music i would be an orphan

mago said...

Slowly but surely it should be time to pack the suitcases, your ten day purgatorium must come to an end now ... something about the concept of eternity, maybe ...

Mister Coppens said...

YEAH!

I didn't know that anyone else on our side of the pond listened to the Streets! Hel-LO!

I totally understand and seriously girl, are you ever going to escape or what?

How long has this been goin' on...Ha there's an earworm for ya.

btw:
One of my al-time fave tunes EVER that I like to CRANK @ "11" is Ah Leah by Donnie Iris...oh yeah.

Leah said...

Candie--hallelujah and amen!!!

Cyberpete--someday it will be mine too.

Walker!!!!--I'm glad you made it. Really I am. Sorry about the weird applications that kept you at the gate...if it wasn't for music I would be an orphan is so awesomely funny on so many levels...

mago--oy, the purgatorium...our bags are packed and we fly out in the morning...

Mr. Coppens! I adore your new look. The Streets, totally love him. As for "Ah Leah" I just went and gave it a listen and am so delighted to learn that I have a song! The only other one I know of is the overwrought Roy Orbison "Hey Leah" which gives me a frisson of not-delight. Thanks for the revelation!