Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wah Wah Wah



Am in Texas.

I wanna go home.

I think I like home better than away.

There's no coffee machine, just a weird thing with pods that I can't figure out. The bed is very very high and I feel like I'm going to fall off it. The shower water is hard and sparse and my hair looks like straw this morning. Sarge is power-napping to avoid the fray (not that I blame him). I can't drive the car because it would be a huge to-do. There are labyrinthine and Byzantine house rules that may be broken without one knowing it, at any given moment, and the repercussions are intense. I feel like I'm skulking even when I'm not.

Now I'm done complaining because it really makes me seem like an ungracious asshole, and although I'll never deny that I am, it's really a bit shameful.

I'll be back when I have something more cheerful to add.

27 comments:

Emerson Marks said...

But Yee-haaa partner, you're in Texas. Does everyone talk funny like, 'howdy there, partner,' do they? I hope they do.

mago said...

Screw that shitty rules and behave like a civilized human being - that has to do. You are a guest and should be treated so.

Brian Miller said...

lol. enjoy the food at least. always had amazing food in TX. As far as the house, turn it into an adventure. oh well, best i got today. good luck with the rules.

savannah said...

yes to what the guys just said AND...drink, seriously...and often...hold on, sarge is power napping? why aren't you? ;) btw, buy some cat walk shampoo and conditioner. it's PERFCT for curly hair, esp. down heah in the south, sugar!

(and whine all y'all want here on the blog, honey! better here than causing a scene with the MIL!)

just bob said...

Sounds like you are having fun.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

LOL Girl!
Are you blogging away while holed up in the Dragon's Den? What would MIL think?
How many more days must you endure, you poor thing?

Ronda Laveen said...

When I was younger, I used to feel less-than when I felt like I was skulking. As I have aged, I've turned it into a fine art and take great pride and enjoyment from it when I do it with intent.

Hold head up high and skulk like professional. Skulk with style and panache. Oh, yeah!!! SIF (Skulking is Fun).

Karen ^..^ said...

Christ, you poor poor girl. Texas. UGH.

The pod coffee is actually quite good, once you get used to the weirdness of it. Just run it twice, with a big cup under it, twice on one pod. Otherwise, I've found that the coffee is too damn strong. but it is yummy, yummy!

And make sure the water reservoir is full. LOL.

Have a nice juicy steak. Ignore the MIL. Have fun. Have lots and lots of sex under their roof. Heh.

Megan said...

It sounds like a very strange household.

Too Little Time said...

OK so we know its going to be like this and like a good DIL you endur because you love your husband and daughter.

Thank the good Lord that you don't live any closer where you would have to do this more than once a year.

Just think - you have another whole year before you have to do it again :) K

Suzanne said...

Honey, what's she have in the fruit bowl?

;)

Dot-Com said...

Not being able to work the coffee machine will do this to anyone. Or worse still, not having one at all! You're allowed. Hope you still manage to enjoy your time :-)

Leah said...

EM--funnily enough, yes, many of them do. It's quite charming actually.

mago--I am so trying to take your advice and screw the shitty rules. And by the way, awesome advice about discussing "Ten Days," I laughed my ass off! How great would that be?

Brian--so far the food has been spectacular, I must admit.

savannah--actually, Sarge just told me that "power napping" refers to little cat naps. I actually meant, says he, that he was "marathon napping." So I guess I can't in good conscience leave Hedgie alone for all that time...boohoo..

thanks for the shampoo advice, will try it!

Bob--oh, I am. I so am.

Auntie!--only 8 more days. And I'm totally holed up, lurking online in the bedroom...at least I brought my laptop.

Leah said...

Ronda--you totally cracked me up! From now on I will skulk with pride...

Karen--thanks for the lowdown on the mysterious pods. Hopefully I can manage tomorrow morning, because without my caffeine I am a serious lunatic. Oh, and I really dig your advice!

Megan--very, very, very strange.

Karrie!!! Hi girl!!!! In fact, believe it or not I'm doing it again this summer, yup, seriously!!!!!!!

Suzy--first day I was here I went out and stocked that fruit bowl!!! It was empty!

Leah said...

Dot-Com--I know, seriously. Without the coffee I'm doomed.

Lisa said...

Don't forget that I am not that far away and would love to drive up there and put a monkey wrench in the whole thing....just sayin....

Baino said...

Oh you poor chook. I have friends in Texas so it's not all bad! Go play hide 'n seek .. we have one of those pod things at work. Looks more like an instrument of torture. Put on yer coat and get some freshies!

Auntie, aka cagny said...

Leah,
LOL
Take Karen's advice and have LOTS of SEX!!!
Put away that laptop!
And just GET ON TOP!
LOL LOL

merelyme said...

Have you heard of this? Too cool - a friend clued me in...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/04/us/04religion.html

So...Happy Day to you!

MJ said...

Remember the Alamo.

donncoppens said...

Maybe there will be a hangin' in the town square! Perhaps Dubya might be readin and a writin his biogramy at the local libary!

Try out Robert Duvall's quote from Geronimo.
"Texans...the lowest form of white man there is
*then you have to spit on the floor

Jus kiddin, I has an Uncle in Dullass and my Ma goes thar evry Winner!

mago said...

The count down has already started.
What's that fruit-bowl-reference? A poor European needs to know.

Candie Bracci said...

Hold on Leah!

Mrsupole said...

I can make it, I can make it, I can make it. Just keep saying that mantra and you will get through it. Oh and I agree lots and lots of sex. On top, on the botton, on the side, it does not matter, just as long as it is a lot.

Just remember when you look at your MIL that she made your wonderful hubby and if not for her you would not have him. I know this can be hard to do, I tried and did not succeed.

Okay, I am done. I guess I can only pray you make it through this. You probably will have more fun when you get that cup of coffee though.

God bless.

Old Knudsen said...

And remember no bumsex its probably illegal. I bet thats a hoose rule.

In one of his films Robert Duval said the lowest form or human is a Texan, Floridians are a close second.

Leah said...

Lisa--don't I wish! Every single moment is programmed and MIL's head would fly off if I tried to throw the monkey wrench. I am seriously not kidding.

Baino--I am totally hiding right now, on the floor behind the bed!!!! Texas really isn't all bad--I like it actually, I'm just having an emotionally bad time...

Auntie--you're probably right, doll. You are probably right. Perhaps tonight...it seems so illicit!!!

merelyme--I hadn't heard of that! I'm passing the link on to my sis--thank you!

MJ--I'm trying, believe me I'm trying...

Donn--you made me laugh! I actually love Texas, in some ways, but at the moment this really made me happy.

mago--I'm counting the seconds. The fruit bowl reference was just to the post I did about my grandparents' fruit bowl. After that post, Suzanne got inspired to fill her own fruit bowl, and it's a running reference. I know, I know, not too interesting...

Mrsupole--your comments about this have really made me want to try to be a better sport about the whole thing. I totally failed today, but I'll keep in mind what you say.

Old Knudsen--I am confident bumsex is illegal here, and if not in Texas then definitely in the house. But sex with bums is probably okay.

Carnalis said...

i totally understand this post, although the house i have just returned home from was my own parents', and only a very little bumsex to compensate.